


so this is the new year

by tyrus-time (itgrowslikeafire)



Series: 12 Days of Tyrus [4]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bad Puns, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, New Year's Eve, Nicknames, Trans TJ, mentions of misgendering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-29 21:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17211407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itgrowslikeafire/pseuds/tyrus-time
Summary: TJ is away visiting family for the holidays. He's not thrilled about spending New Year's with a bunch of snobby adults; he'd much rather be with Cyrus. They video chat with each other in the early hours of the New Year, and it leads to... well, I bet you can guess where this is going, right?





	so this is the new year

**Author's Note:**

> titled and inspired by the song "The New Year" (Death Cab for Cutie)
> 
> I started this for 12 Days of Tyrus but didn't finish it until now, woops. I reworked it a couple times, going back and forth between which tense to use, so hopefully it's okay!

_ So this is the new year. _

TJ’s relatives and ‘family friends’ cheered, toasting champagne glasses and spinning noisemakers. The sound of fireworks erupted outside. Everybody made such a big deal about New Year’s. Why?  _ It’s supposed to be symbolic, I guess…  _

A new year marked a new beginning. A chance for a fresh start.

_ But I don’t feel any different. _

At some point over the past few years, New Year’s Eve had lost its magic… and it didn’t help that TJ was forced to spend this one with a bunch of adults he didn’t like. He didn’t even have any one his age to hang out with. 

He wished he was back in Shadyside.  _ With Cyrus.  _ The Goodmans were hosting their own party, and all of Cyrus’ friends were there -- except TJ.

TJ slipped away from the hub of the party and went to the guest room he was staying in. Everybody else would continue partying downstairs, and if anyone noticed he was gone, they’d assume he went to sleep. 

The urge to completely isolate himself was creeping in, but he knew he’d feel better if he could see Cyrus right now. 

TJ sighed.  _ “Hey, talk later? When your party is over?”  _ he texted.

_ I’ll just… be here, waiting. _

In the meantime, he passed the time by scrolling aimlessly on his phone.

Finally, around 1am, TJ received an incoming video call that he answered with a small smile.

“Happy new year!” Cyrus greeted excitedly. “How goes the family party?”

“My aunt keeps deadnaming me,” TJ grumbled. “And most of my relatives keep calling me ‘she.’ Which is confusing people who didn’t know me pre-transition, because  _ hello _ , do I even look like a girl!?”

“Oof. Relatives can be stupid,” Cyrus frowned. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with that, Teej.”

“... _ Do _ I look like a girl?” TJ asked, a hint of vulnerability tinging his voice. 

“Not at all! You’re a very handsome young man, and if they can’t see that, they need to get their eyes checked.”

“Thanks, Cy… I miss you. I wish you were here.”

“I wish  _ you  _ were  _ here _ ! My mom made some great food, and we ended up playing this game called Scribblish? And we set off little confetti cannons at midnight! It was really fun, but… it would’ve been way better if you were here, too.”

TJ nodded softly in response.  _ Yeah, I’d much rather be there, too. I want to be  _ **_wherever_ ** _ you are. Especially for the new year…  _ TJ couldn’t help but imagine kissing Cyrus as the clock struck twelve.

“Hey, what’s your resolution?” Cyrus asked, breaking TJ out of his thoughts.

“I, uh… I have none.” 

“What?” Cyrus practically sounded offended, “Why not?”

TJ shrugged.

“Come on,” Cyrus prodded, “there’s got to be one thing you’ve been putting off, or have been afraid to do.”

_ Well, technically there is something, but I’m not sure how’d feel about it…  _ The two of them had grown increasingly closer over the past months, but TJ still wasn’t sure if their friendship was platonic or not. Cyrus was so damn nice to everyone; it was hard to tell if he reciprocated TJ’s feelings, or if he was just being a good friend. 

And when TJ wasn’t feeling confident about himself, he doubted how anyone could love him. 

“I don’t know,” he finally mumbled. “I feel pretty… hopeless? Like, what’s the point of setting a resolution when I’ll probably mess it up?” 

Cyrus frowned. “You worry me, when you talk like that.”

“No, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Well, worrying is my thing, okay? Especially when it’s about someone I care a lot about... ”

That made TJ somehow feel both reassured and guilty. “I’m sorry. I just… I’m not in a good place right now,“ he sighed. “But... I’ll be fine. Especially once I get out of this stupid house. It reminds me that I feel like I’m a disappointment... ”

“You are  _ not  _ a disappointment, okay? And you don’t have to apologize. I’m always here for you; you know that right?”

TJ bit his lip and hesitated. “I want to say yes, but…” 

_ But part of me still doesn’t believe you. Part of me thinks you’ll start ignoring again me one day. You’ll realize how messed up I really am and stop talking to me. Like that one time, remember?  _ Having Cyrus ignore him the week after the Reed situation had been devastating. 

TJ knew deep in his heart that his insecurities were getting the best of him. He didn’t actually believe Cyrus would do something like that again, but… TJ was still afraid. Afraid of losing the best person in his life. 

Cyrus seemed to pick up on what TJ was thinking. “I’m never giving up on you, okay? I care about you a lot. I’m not going anywhere. And if anything is ever wrong between us, we can work it out, okay?”

TJ nodded in response. “Yeah. You’re right. Fuck, I just, I feel like I’m losing it, being stuck in this damn house.”

“You only have one more day there, and then you’ll come back home, and I can give you a big hug. You can get through this,” Cyrus reassured. “Why don’t we take some deep breaths together?”

They inhaled and exhaled in time together, putting the rest of the world on hold for a moment. After a few minutes, the constriction in TJ’s chest eased. 

“Thanks,” the corners of TJ’s mouth formed a small smile. “That helped.”

“I guess you could say it’s what I’m good for… Like fathers and mothers, like son,” Cyrus joked. “Having four counselors as parents does have some advantages.”

“You’re good for a lot of things, you know,” TJ murmured fondly. 

“Like what?”

“Always supporting your friends… Helping me with my homework…. Cheering me and Buffy on a basketball games… Using your trivia knowledge to win at Jeopardy and Kahoot… I could go on,” TJ grinned.

“Oh, please do. I am loving this.”

“You’re always willing to help however you can. You never fail to make me smile…” TJ felt his face begin to warm. Cyrus was smiling so adorably at him… 

“You’re good at a lot of things, but you’re also just plain  _ good _ ,” TJ continued. “You’re so stubbornly kind to everyone. Like how you’ve always been to me, even when I’ve been a jerk. And… it’s honestly amazing,” he smiled, his heart swelling with love for the other boy. 

Cyrus was speechless.

“Sometimes I don’t understand how all that goodness fits in that lanky body of yours,” TJ teased to lighten the mood. 

“My body is  _ slender _ , thank you very much,” Cyrus retorted with a chuckle. “And it’d be a dishonor to my family name if I wasn’t a  _ Good _ -man, after all.”

“Ugh, no, not the pun!” TJ laughed. 

“You love my terrible puns.”

“Hm. Maybe I do.”

They looked affectionately at each other through the screen for a moment. 

TJ becomes acutely aware of his heartbeat thrumming in his chest.

_ You basically just poured out your heart to him. Why don’t you just tell him? _

TJ swallowed thickly.  “Hey… About the resolution thing… there  _ is _ something I’ve been wanting to do. For awhile now.”

“Sounds like a perfect resolution! What is it?”

TJ paused. “There’s… something I’ve been wanting to tell someone.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” TJ stared at the wall, too nervous to look at Cyrus. 

“Okay, well, maybe you can right it down in a notebook? I always do that with my resolutions—“

“No, I actually, uh, I can do it now.” TJ’s breath hitched. “I’m… in love with you.”

Cyrus’ eyes widened. “Oh...”

“Yep. That’s… that’s what I’ve been wanting to tell you, so…. Uh… There it is.”

Cyrus was quiet for a moment. “I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed—“

TJ’s heart began to sink.

“—because I was hoping this would happen in person,” Cyrus continued. 

_ Wait. _

“What?” TJ suddenly wondered if maybe he fell asleep earlier and this had all been a dream. 

“I didn’t think this confession thing would happen over the phone!” Cyrus laughed with a hint of nervousness. “I mean, I’m relieved that you like me back, of course! But now I  _ really  _ wish you were here so I could kiss you. Or you kiss me. Or however it’d go down. Doesn’t really matter, as long as we’re kissing each other.”

_ Cyrus wants to kiss me. _ “Oh my god. You do like me back.”

“Obviously… Was that ever even a question?”

“Uh,  _ yes _ ?”

“You  _ are _ oblivious.”

“Oh, what about you, then? Did you already know I liked you?!”

“I had my suspicions, but I needed further confirmation before I could confess to you. And well, now you’ve beat me to it.”

“Via FaceTime.” TJ facepalmed. “Dammit, TJ.”

“Yeah, not how I expected it to happen, but it’s fine!”

“I didn’t plan this, you know... I just, I needed to tell you before I chickened out again. I’ve been wanting to bring it up for months. Of course I wait until I’m a hundred miles away.”

“Hey, no worries. Distance can’t hold us back.”

“Yes it can! I would’ve liked to kiss you at midnight, and I  _ really  _ would like to kiss you now, but I can’t exactly do that right now.”

“Here, I’ll kiss you through the phone,” Cyrus kissed the camera dramatically. 

TJ couldn’t help but giggle at that. “Are you really quoting Soulja Boy?”

“Quoting what now?”

“‘Kiss Me Thru the Phone.’ It’s a song!”

“Oh, I didn’t even know that!”

“You goof,” TJ chuckled affectionately. “I  _ am  _ going to kiss you properly when I get home, just so we’re clear.”

“Looking forward to it,” Cyrus grinned before breaking into a yawn. 

“Hey, it’s late. You should go to bed soon.”

“Nuh uh, I’m a big boy, I can.. handle… it,” Cyrus yawned again and his eyes started to flutter shut. 

“You need your beauty rest, muffin. Go sleep.”

“Did… did you just call me muffin?” 

“Heh. Maybe…”

“I like that… S’cute,” Cyrus mumbled sleepily.

“You’re cute. The  _ cutest _ ,” TJ felt his heart swell with pure fondness again. “And you’re really adorable when you’re sleep-drunk.”

“No, ‘m not sleep-drunk!”

“Okay, sure, muffin.”

Cyrus giggled softly. “Okay,  _ lemon boy _ .”

“Lemon boy?”

“Yep. You’re my bittersweet lemon boy. Except now, you’re just being  _ sweet _ ... So maybe it doesn’t work anymore...” Cyrus rambled. 

“I officially don’t know what you’re talking about, so I think it’s time we hang up.”

“It’s a soooong! Makes me think of you. I’ll play it for you sometime.”

“Haha, alright. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Mmkay. Nighty night!”

“Night, Underdog… I love you.”

“Hmm,” Cyrus hummed sweetly, “TJ loves me…”

“Yes, yes he does.” _ It feels so good to finally admit it. _

“I love you too, you know.”

“I know, thank you. Okay, you’re gonna get to bed now?”

“Mhm. Gotta… go brush my teeth…” Cyrus heaved himself up and carried the phone with him to the bathroom. “Look, I’m going!”

“Okay,” TJ couldn’t stop grinning.  _ He’s so damn adorable _ . “Sleep well, muffin.”

“You too,” Cyrus warbled as he began to brush his teeth. 

“Alright, I’m gonna hang up now, okay? See you soon. Love you.” TJ finally ended the call.

_ Love you.  _

It was crazy how easily those words came out of his mouth now.

_ Love you… I love you… I’m in love with you… _

Before tonight, he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to bring himself to say those words out loud. 

Now that he finally said them, he couldn’t seem to stop. He would’ve shouted it from the rooftop for all to hear, but he settled with saying it again to himself.

“I love Cyrus Goodman… and  _ he loves me back _ .”

He smiled.

_ Maybe I  _ **_do_ ** _ feel different this year...  _ **_Lighter_ ** _ , somehow.  _

The new year was off to a better start than he could have ever hoped for.

**Author's Note:**

> Epilogue: TJ texts Cyrus as he arrives back in town, and Cyrus tells him to meet at the swings. Cyrus is there waiting for him, looking adorable in a matching hat and gloves. A dusty layer of snow covers the grass and trees. They run towards each other and hug dramatically. TJ pulls away to look Cyrus in the eyes and say, "I love you, Cyrus Goodman" and kisses him! and! it's _beautiful_
> 
> ❤ 
> 
> Happy New Year everybody!!  
> please lmk if there's any typos I missed u_u


End file.
